How To Choose Your Bridesmaids – Create Your Dream Bridal Party
Choosing your bridal party can feel like an exhausting task, and it can be difficult to know where to start. In this article, we give advice on how to pick your dream bridal party so that you have no regrets.
For some, choosing the bridal party is an easy task, but for others, it can feel overwhelming due to wedding politics, the worry of upsetting loved ones, or simply due to having too many friends to choose between! You might have not even thought about who your bridal party could be yet, and so you’re looking for ideas on how to go about picking your bridesmaids. Whichever situation you’re in, at Blush we are here to walk you through the best approach for choosing your bridesmaids.
Please note, every bride has different circumstances, so this advice may not be applicable to everyone, but we hope it can give you some structure on what to consider.
Who Can Be Your Bridesmaid?
Thankfully, there are no traditions around who should be your bridesmaid, which means that as a bride, you have to decide who deserves the role. This can be a challenge when you have a lot of friends!
Typically, sisters, close or life long friends are allocated the role of bridesmaid.
We recommend asking yourself the question “will I still have a relationship with this person in 5 years’ time?” when you’re considering someone to be a bridesmaid.
Your bridesmaids will likely make up around a quarter of your wedding photo album, so you need to ensure you choose well so that you have no regrets!
Step 1 – Consider Your Relationships
We recommend making a list of the relatives, long-term friends you still speak to and your current/new friendships. Creating this list will make a start on the process.
When it comes to picking your bridal party, the best place to start is your close relatives. Do you have a sister, a cousin, or a sister in law who you’re close with? If so, it is advisable to consider these people first before friends.
Relatives who you are close to are highly likely to still be around when the wedding is over and done. Choosing a relative as a bridesmaid has a number of benefits – they know you well, they’ll stick around and it makes the family happy!
Choosing A Sister As Bridesmaid
If you have a sister/s, choosing her as your bridesmaid/s is generally the best place to start. Sisters are typically selected as bridesmaids as they likely know you more than anyone having grown up together, and it’s highly likely that you will always have a relationship with your sister in the future if you’ve survived all those years of stealing eachother’s clothes.
One regret you’ll likely hear from brides who have had their wedding is that they selected a friend to be a bridesmaid who they never see anymore. Having a sister in your bridal party means you’re not likely to have this regret.
A sister will be able to help in a lot of ways that friends maybe can’t – like advising on things that can stir up family politics (aka the guest list), and telling your bridesmaids NOT to get that stripper when Grandma is attending the bridal shower. In all seriousness though, having a sister as a bridesmaid is a beautiful way to celebrate your relationship, and the wedding will likely bring you even closer.
Don’t Forget Your New Sister-In-Law
The whole point of getting married is to celebrate becoming one, and that also means becoming a part of your hubby ‘s new family (and vice versa!). So, your sister-in-law might not be close to you yet, but having her in the bridal party is a lovely gesture that your partner will appreciate, and it also gives you the opportunity to bond with your new sister-in-law.
Run this by your hubby-to-be first to get his thoughts, but he’ll probably appreciate that you’ve considered his family without him having to ask you.
Long Term Friendships
Before we recommend considering those you are close to right now (for example, work friends or friends you might have met in the past few years), we would recommend considering long-term friends who have always been there.
If you have a friend or a few friends you’ve known since being young, and you’re still in touch now then this is a safe choice that you won’t regret. Like sisters, a friendship that has stood the test of time means that even after your wedding, you’ll likely still be in touch and in years to come you’ll both reflect on the experience together.
Long-term friends can sometimes be a difficult choice for the wedding, because your paths may have drifted in terms of your life choices. Just like Lilian and Annie in Bridesmaids, life may have taken you on different journeys, but your long-term friends know you at your core and they’ll keep you grounded!
Obviously, the decision you make will depend on how much you keep in touch with your old friends. When you do see them after months or even years, does it still feel like it was yesterday? If so, then we say go for it!
New and Current Friendships
You might have a friend that has recently come into your life that you’re considering making a bridesmaid. Sometimes, new friends being in the bridal party can be risky. This really comes down to your gut feeling on whether to include a new friend in the bridal party – can you see the friendship lasting even if your circumstances changed? Is she or he a supportive friend who will gel with the rest of your bridal party? If the answer is yes to these questions then you should definitely consider including newer friends to also be your bridesmaid!
A mix of old and new friends in your bridal party can have its’ benefits. Your new friends will know what you like now – which can be really handy for the hen do, and giving guidance to the bridesmaids you might not have seen in a while.
Remember, your bridal party doesn’t have to be made up of just women, too! Manmaids are becoming more popular in weddings, so this is also something worth considering if you have a good friend who is male.
Step 2 – Decide What You Need Help With
Now you have your (hopefully short) list of relatives, long-term friends and current friends, we recommend writing down the things that you might need help with for the wedding.
Who on the list do you think could come in super handy? Who knows you well enough that you’d not even hesitate to let them help plan your hen party? Who would be a good shoulder to lean on when you need advice or when the nerves start kicking in?
Some of the most important roles have been listed below. If you find that some people on your list might be more of a hindrance than a help with any of the tasks, you can consider maybe giving them a different role to make them feel special – like doing a wedding reading instead.
The list below details the types of tasks you can expect from your bridal party leading up to and on the day of the wedding. There will be more that are specific to your wedding but here’s a short list to get you started:
- Planning the hen party
- Attending bridal appointments (dress fittings, hair and makeup, hen party etc)
- Curating music playlists (morning of the wedding, the hen party etc),
- Co-ordination on the day – handing out confetti/asking guests to get ready for photographs
- Running errands – taking gifts to the parents, or the groom on the morning of the wedding
- Getting everyone to mingle on the hen do / organising activities
Are there people on your list who you can’t imagine chipping in with the tasks above? In addition to the tasks, a good bridesmaid should also be a good listener, free from drama, and be prepared to put your preferences before theirs when it comes to dresses and hairstyles.
Decide Whether You Want A maid of honour
As we’re on the topic of roles, this is a good time to mention that you might want to decide who is the best fit for Maid of Honour or Chief Bridesmaid. Usually, the bridesmaid who takes on the role as Maid of Honour or Chief Bridesmaid is the sister or closest friend to the bride.
We recommend selecting the bridesmaid you can trust the most. If you find it difficult to allocate the Maid of Honour role, you don’t need to have one and you can have all of your bridesmaids as equals.
Step 3 – Consult With Family
As a next step, we recommend chatting with a family member to get their feedback on your final list of bridesmaids. Do remember that this is your wedding and you don’t owe anyone anything – you need to do what feels right for you. Checking with a family member is always a good thing to do before asking your bridesmaids, as another perspective will help you either rethink your choices or might just give you the peace of mind you need if they also agree with you.
Remember to take the opinions of family members on board, but don’t let the opinions take over the vision you have for your special day.
Step 4 – Create Other Important Roles
If there are only so many bridesmaids you can have and you’ve had to cut someone special out of the bridal party, there are still ways you can make that person feel included in the wedding.
Why not ask them to do a wedding reading at the ceremony? Or invite them to get their hair and makeup done in the morning and join you in the bridal suite? You could also write them a note and put it on their place setting for the wedding breakfast, or they could even be the ring bearer!
Whatever role you choose, you can still make people feel special even if they aren’t in the bridal party.
Step 5 – Propose To Your Bridal Party
Last but not least, the most exciting part about choosing your bridal party is the bridesmaid proposals!
You need to decide how you’re going to pop the question to your dream bride squad. Hopefully, the squad you have chosen will all get along with each other, but the bridesmaid proposal is a great chance to get them all together and meet each other if they haven’t already.
We have wrote a full article on different ways to propose to your bridal party which we recommend reading next!
