A Guide To Being Maid of Honour: roles & Responsibilities
Being chosen as the maid of honour is a special part to play in the wedding that comes with important duties. As the bride’s closest friend or sister, the maid of honour plays a crucial role in making the wedding day memorable and happy. In this article, we will explore the responsibilities of a maid of honour, explain the differences between a maid of honour and a bridesmaid, talk about money matters, and give tips on how to do an excellent job in this important role.
What is a maid of honour?
The maid of honour is usually a close friend, sister or best friend of the bride, picked because she is reliable, supportive, and good at organising. She acts as the bride’s wing-woman throughout the planning of the wedding and on the wedding day.
Not all brides choose to have a Maid of Honour role; some choose to have only bridesmaids in their wedding party, however, a Maid of Honour role can be introduced into the bridal party to highlight the unique relationship between the bride and her closest friend or relative.
What Are the Roles and Responsibilities of a Maid Of honour?
The Maid of Honour shares all of the responsibilities and roles of a bridesmaid, but there are also a few additional responsibilities that you should be aware of if you have been asked to be Maid of Honour. Here they are:
Before the wedding day…
- Wedding planning assistance
- Emotional support
- Planning the hen or bridal party (the lead organiser!)
- Helping with music selections or playlists (e.g. wedding morning playlist)
- Coordinating the bridal party – making arrangements for any dress fittings, makeup trials etc
- Helping out with any DIY or wedding tasks like making up bathroom baskets or helping to find decor items
- Preparing a speech or a toast (this depends on whether the bride has asked you to do this – in the UK it isn’t a necessity, so make sure to ask the bride!). (Read our guide on how to prepare and deliver the best Maid of Honour speech here!).
On the wedding day…
- Keeping essentials on hand (like an emergency kit, or makeup for the bride)
- Helping the bride get ready – taking instructions on how to secure her veil if needed, buttoning up the dress etc
- Providing ongoing support for the bride throughout the day – calming her nerves and reassuring her when needed
- Holding the brides bouquet
- Walking down the aisle, and helping to coordinate the bridesmaids, flower girls or page boys
- Assisting with tasks like gathering people for photographs or running errands on the wedding morning
- Encouraging people to sign the guest book or take photos!
- Ensuring the veil and the bride’s train/dress is laying correctly for any photographs
- Delivering a speech or a toast (if agreed with the bride)
- Helping to setup on the day – decor items
- Liaising with the photographer, videographer or hair and makeup artist
- Helping the bride to go pee (if she has a big or awkward dress!)
- Assisting guests with any questions they may have
- Helping with the clear up of the wedding – ensuring cards and gifts are safe
Is a bridesmaid the same as a maid of honour?
The above tasks are the responsibility of the Maid of Honour, but the Maid of Honour can delegate some of these out to the bridesmaids for extra support where needed.
Bridesmaids and the Maid of Honour share a lot of the same duties – including emotional support, helping with wedding setup, helping the bride go to the toilet, assisting guests on the day and running errands. The key differences between the Maid of Honour and Bridesmaid roles are:
- The speech (if a speech is something the bride wants, this usually tends to come from the Maid of Honour)
- Holding the brides bouquet
- Being the lead planner of the hen party or bridal shower
- Coordinating the bridal party
What Does the maid of honour pay for?
The Maid of Honour doesn’t have to take on any extra expenses compared to anyone else in the bridal party. The cost of everything related to the wedding (the hen party and bridal shower for example), is split between the entire bridal party. It is also common in the UK for the bride and groom to cover the cost of the dresses.
Although the Maid of Honour doesn’t pay any more than the bridesmaids, there are still cost that comes with accepting the role of a bridesmaid or maid of honour, which have been listed below:
- Hen Party or bridal shower – The Maid of Honour and bridesmaids will need to pay for their own costs to attend the hen party or bridal shower. The cost of the bride will generally be split between the whole group (rather than the cost being taken on by one person).
- Decorations and accessories – The bridal party will generally split the cost of the decorations, games and accessories for the bridal shower or hen party.
- A gift for the bride and groom – Being a Maid of Honour is a huge privilege, so it is recommended that you take into consideration that the bridal party might spend slightly more on a gift for the bride and groom compared to being a wedding guest.
- Accessories for the wedding day – You may be asked to pay for your own shoes and bag for the wedding day
- Hair and makeup – Sometimes the bride might ask for the bridal party to pay for their own hair and makeup – so it is worth checking this with the bride first to ensure this is a cost you can afford. In my experience being a bridesmaid, the bride and groom have always paid for my hair to be done, but I have had the option to pay for getting my makeup done if preferred.
- Travel costs and pre-wedding events – The bride may ask you to attend events like wedding dress shopping or dress alterations. This might cost money in travel and food expenses.
Tips for being an amazing maid of honour!
Finally, if you’ve never been a Maid of Honour before, we thought we’d offer you a little advice on how to excel in your role.
Planning a wedding can be a stressful process, so it’s crucial to be a good listener and provide support whenever the bride seeks advice. This is the best way to fulfill your duties as the Maid of Honour.
When it comes to bridesmaid dresses, hair, and makeup, the bride will make decisions regarding colour, length, and styles that align with her wedding theme. If she’s covering the cost of the dresses, it means you won’t have much say in selecting what you’ll wear. Therefore, keep in mind that this day belongs to the bride and her vision. Try to be understanding and set aside your personal preferences for this special occasion. While it’s perfectly acceptable to express what you think might suit you, there may need to be some compromises, as accommodating everyone’s style within the bridal party can be quite challenging. The best Maid of Honours and bridesmaids are those who are willing to compromise (within reason!) for the sake of the day.
